A letter about Mental Health
Mental Health is important. Hence the reason why this letter has been in my head for a while now, thanks to Jared Padalecki’s Represent Campaign. In his campaign, he talks about how important awareness for Mental Health, depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide is.
In January 2012 I had hit rock bottom. I was on Medication and therapy for my depression which I had been diagnosed about 2yrs earlier, and struggling every day of my life, for two years. Sometimes I was thinking that I didn’t deserve my wonderful husband and my children, that my family would be better off without me. I was also in a friendship that was very toxic. It was one-sided and it sucked the good out of me.
So one day I was driving down the freeway and I thought to myself, if I get killed in an accident, I really don’t care. I struggled to get up every morning, cause I feared there would be messaged that told me what a terrible job I did and why certain things had not been finished. Through all of this, my husband stood beside me. He never said a bad word, but there was always the fear he would leave.
Then one day I searched through Netflix and came upon a show of two boys, who were searching for their Dad. They encountered numerous Monsters and kept going, cause they believed in Family. Each day, I got up and watched how Sam and Dean fought beside each other and for each other. I watched 6 seasons in probably 2 weeks. My mood got better, cause I knew I could go back and watch “Supernatural”.
Online I also started to find the Supernatural Fandom and its fans. They accepted without question, why I had not watched the show from the beginning, but with open arms. This felt like home.
In April, my sister came to visit and she probably saved my life. She hit me upside the head and made me realize that working with this toxic person is just bad for me and my family. And the one thing I learned from the Winchesters, that family is everything.
The final realization came one day, after sewing all night and then being told that I did a crap Job (which if you know me and my work, does not happen), that this was it. I was done, I rid myself of this person and cut all ties. It was very freeing, and my mood lifted instantly.
It is now 3yrs later and this store is my therapy. It’s my creative outlet. Here I can make the things I want and don’t have anybody telling me that it’s not good. I am my own boss, if I don’t get something done, it’s not the end of the world. When my phone goes off there is no longer anxious about what I could have done wrong, its joy, cause it might be a friend that just wants to say Hi.
Sometimes there are still bad days, but the good outweighs the bad. I was lucky to have my family to help me, and they are still helping. I am glad I went to Therapy cause if I didn’t this might not have ended the way it did.
What I want to say is, if you know someone that suffers from depression, be a friend, try to lift them up and don’t brush it off.
I want to thank all my customers, followers and likers cause I look forward to reading your messages and you all have lifted my spirits on many occasions. So please if you can, buy a shirt from Jared, as this will help so many people. Like I was blessed and still am.
From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU Geeksters, Supernatural, Jensen, and Jared for bringing Sam and Dean alive.
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Oh my gosh! It’s like you’re inside my head. Dates may have been different but I know the feeling as you had. Unfortunately I did not find supernatural during my lowest time however I have found it since then. I look to the TV show or the fandom or Twitter or Facebook to lift me up. Thank you for writing this and thank you for finding a reason to get up every day. You are worth it. Always keep fighting
Thank you for your kind words.